All You Nature Lovers Can Suck It

I hate spring. I hate the green grass, the blooming flowers, the breeze and the sun. I like the idea of spring. It's the reality of it that I hate.

I am a fair-skinned redhead, so the sun is not my friend. Add to that a strong family history of skin cancer and you have a girl who has no love for days that are brighter and longer.

I am also allergic to almost everything. Since spring is the time when almost everything is reproducing and floating around in the air, I spend spring red-nosed, sneezing and itchy. I have tried immunotherapy (allergy shots). I have tried pills. I have a neti pot. I have holistic tinctures. I have tried local honey. I have tried nose sprays. Not much works.

So, while all of you nature lovers are out there planting things, riding your bikes and participating in other pagan rituals of spring, I will be here, at my computer, sneezing and blowing my nose.