After my Mom and Step-dad divorced and our family home was sold, my Mom found a townhouse for us. We spent one hot, summer Saturday moving all of our belongings across town into our new place. It was a scary time, a new neighborhood and I was about to start middle school. But I was so exhausted that I fell into bed that night and I did not move once in my sleep.
At 8am on Sunday morning, I woke up to something I have never heard before. A woman screaming obscenities, with a thick Boston accent, at the top of her lungs at her entire family. "What the fuck do you think this is, a fucking hotel? Get your lazy asses out of bed and walk the fucking dogs! Then clean your God damned rooms." I looked out my bedroom window and I saw a platinum blond woman in rollers and a bright yellow housecoat yelling at two kids. The girl, who looked about my age, got both of the dogs and took them out for a walk. The boy who looked like he was in high school, just sat at the table and smirked while the woman yelled at him. Then a man came into their kitchen and said something to the woman. She didn't like what he said because she started whacking him on the head with her fists and yelling more foul language.
This family was making so much racket, that my mother woke up and came into my room. We both were stunned by the show going on across our driveway. We peered through my curtains, watching and listening as this woman screamed at her family. It was quite a show. I can honestly say that I learned how to properly use every single swear word (except the often maligned c-word) that morning. I owe my filthy vocabulary to that woman. Over the years, that woman who I lovingly called Mizz Betty became a second mother to me and her daughter became one of my best friends.
Mizz Betty passed away November 11, 2002. I fucking miss her.