Wednesday, March 11, 2009

She Put In Her Five Years, Then I Was On My Own.

My mom read to me EVERY day for the first 3 years of my life. After that, I had memorized most of the words and would "read" to her for the next two years. By the time I started elementary school, I was a pretty advanced reader and I loved doing it. I would bankrupt my mother with the monthly Scholastic Book orders. She eventually restricted my book orders at school, but would take me to yard sales and book sales once a month and let me pick out as many books as I wanted for $15.00. She never monitored what I was reading, she was just glad that I enjoyed it.

In 5th grade, we had a special time in class called SSR (sustained silent reading). We could read anything we wanted. I brought my books from home. I was reading my latest garage sale book and came upon a word I did not know. I went up to my teacher and asked to use the dictionary. He asked why and I said I didn't know what a word meant in my book and I wanted to look it up. He asked my what the word was.

I replied "Phallus".

All the color drained from his face and he calmly asked, "What are you reading?"

I replied, "The Exorcist".

He said, "Does your Mom know you are reading that?"

I replied, "Yes, she bought this book for me on Saturday."

He gave me the dictionary. Later he gave my Mom a phone call.


  1. The Exorcist! Did it scare the crap outta you? That is very funny.

  2. i got in trouble for bring a romance novel to school once. it was probably the most trouble ive ever been in.

    i can't imagine the exorcist would be that bad!