Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Comcast Sucks

While I was at the doctor, some dude from COMCAST CABLE came to our door and asked Mr. Misha if he could come into our backyard. Apparently, the box, or pole or whatever, for our entire street is located in our backyard. Mr. Misha said sure and secured the doggie door to keep the dogs in the house. When I came home, the COMCAST CABLE dude had left, so we opened the doggie door. I went to the bedroom to go on the myspaces and Mr. Misha went into the man cave. A few minutes later, I hear a man outside my bedroom window yelling "Harley!" I thought it was Mr. Misha. Then I hear it again. I holler to him, "Why are you yelling for the pug?" He hollers back, "What?" Then I hear the front door open. I go out to the front of the house and our neighbor is walking back to his house. He told me that both of the dogs were running around in front and he let them back into the house and closed our back gate. I thanked him and went back into the house.

I was LIVID. I got on the phone and I called COMCAST CABLE. I told the poor woman that answered, "I don't have comcast. I don't want comcast. I am very happy with my current company. I wanted to tell you that one of your workers came to our home today...blah, blah, blah...AND HE LEFT MY GATE OPEN. My dogs escaped and were running around out in front of our house! If anything would have happened to them, I don't know what I would have done! These dogs are our children. I would be inconsolable. No amount of money could ever compensate me for the loss of my dogs. Please inform your worker what he did. Please find away to fix my neighbor's cable without coming into my backyard. I have been letting your company come into my backyard for years. I have been awakened while sleeping during the day, even though I have a sign that says 'Daytime Sleeper, Do Not Disturb". This is the last straw. COMCAST CABLE will no longer be allowed into my backyard, ever!" Then I said thank you and hung up. Mr. Misha just smiled and went back into the man cave.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Lancelot, Eat Your Heart Out

When Mr. Misha and I were newlyweds, he worked for a company located about 2 1/2 hours away from our home in Napa. The commute was too grueling to do everyday, so Mr. Misha started looking for a cheap room to rent close to his office. I was amazed how quickly he found a place. He would be sharing a house with two guys named Rick and Dan.

He told me he found them on craigslist and that they were both single, gay men. He said he thought they would be the most appropriate housemates for a
newly-wedded man. He didn't want me to worry about late night keg parties or girls hanging around the house all the time. I could have cared less because I trust him, but his intent was sweet. It was a pretty nice arrangement. Mr. Misha's room was just like his "Man Cave" at home and the rest of the house was clean and orderly. The three guys got along well. Dan had a big Bull Mastiff named Tess. She and Mr. Misha became fast friends. Mr. Misha helped the guys with their computer problems and they fed him. I was looking forward to meeting them.

Around Christmas time, I went down to the Silicon Valley for Mr. Misha's company Holiday party. I was greeted at the door by Tess and Rick. As I rubbed Tess' belly and scratched her ears, Rick went on and on about how much he loved having Mr. Misha as a housemate. He became extremely animated as he told me how Mr. Misha "saved" him.
"One evening I was cooking a little something in the kitchen, a little something, not too heavy because it was late. Anyway, I must have been clarifying butter or something but all of a sudden, this horrific loud squealing noise started in the kitchen. I was so scared; I had no idea where it was coming from! I just froze. I was about to faint from the horrible sound when, like a night in shining armor, your gallant husband came out of his room, grabbed a broom and jousted some contraption from the ceiling and the noise stopped! I don't even want to think what would have happened if my knight, your husband, hadn't been there to rescue this damsel in distress!"

That's Mr. Misha: Rock-n-Roller, Reverend, Computer Genius and Jouster of smoke detectors.