Tuesday, March 09, 2010

My Dirty Little Secret

There is one aspect of my life that I have not shared with you.  I am a part time Ho.  I used to be a Ho more often, but husbands and children have made scheduling a difficult.  I only get to be a Ho about 3 times a year. 

Now, before you start thinking I am a part-time prostitute...let me explain.  I have 5 great girlfriends.  I have been friends with them for years.  One night, we decided to have a "Girl's Night Out"  (GNO).  We got all dressed up, hopped in a cab and went out for some fun.  It was on that night where we overheard someone calling us "A bunch of Hoz" (or hoes, or ho's, however you want to spell it).  We found that descriptor quite hysterical, since we were all upstanding young ladies.  Instead of becoming outraged by the comment, we embraced the moniker and ran with it. 

We had so much fun on our GNO that we vowed to make it a regular event.  We adopted pseudonyms or "HO names".  We used these names when we went out. Using an alias can be quite freeing and made our evenings out even more fun. I will probably explain how we came up with our names at a later post, but here they are along with a semi-sarcastic biography that will act as a teaser for future HO blog posts:

Ginger (Me)
"You know…red hair, big boobs, big mouth!" That is how most would describe Ginger.  The unofficial activities director of the HOZ, she is the one who is the thread that has brought this band of girls together.

Trixie
Trixie met Ginger while she was a 2nd grader at Robert Semple Elementary School (1977). Know as for her practical jokes and smart-ass sense of humor.  Trixie is the "Crunchy" HO, won't eat things with feet or fur and is the hypnochick of the bunch.  She is also the Renaissance woman, hoisting her boobs up at Faires annually.

Brittney
Brittney and Ginger met when Ginger moved in across the street (1980)……….Sunset Villas was never the same. The "Heather Locklear-Barbara Mandrell" look-alike of the bunch.  Those blue eyes of Brittney's have broken many hearts. She is the Three Stooges fan, the one who can quote movie lines and make you pee your pants.

Sally...Whoosh, that Girl!
Sally and Ginger met in beauty school (1987). Sally felt a bit threatened by Ginger's multicolored nails………but they soon grew to be partners in crime.  Music lyrics are the best way to describe Sally, "Never trust a big butt and a smile…that girl is poison!" Sally is known for her butt wiggle, her smile and her Steno-pad.

Roxanne
Roxie and Ginger met the first week of the BSN program, our last year of nursing school (1996). They bonded over body odors, nicotine and caffeine.  Roxie is known for her admiration of the penis, her grace, her military weapon expertise and her lack of a "dimmer" switch when out partying. She is also famous for her ability to pack for any trip in minutes, her talent for making up new words and her integrity.

Isabella
Izzie met Ginger in 1997, Introduced by her childhood friend, Roxie (Roxie and Izzie have know each other since kindergarten). Isabella is the Pancho Villa scholar. She is the author of the "Text Book Tuesday" method of adolescent education.  She has made the phrase…."However Comma", popular throughout the western U.S. Izzie is the choreographer of the HOZ…Ice Ice Baby!
So that is the history of the HOZ!

2 comments:

  1. Love it!!!! Got to have humor in order to enjoy life.

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  2. PS: Great looking group of HO'z btw :-)

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