Monday, November 05, 2012

People Pleaser

Last night, in preparation of my 12hr shift in Lochialand, I stopped by my local coffee joint to get a fix. The one goofy, and terribly slow, dude was working along with a couple of young girls.  A woman, in her mid-thirties was in front of me in line.  She was having a hard time ordering her Chai Tea Latte.  Goofy boy was making it even more difficult and confusing for her.  She finally ordered, payed and moved to the end of the bar waiting for her beverage.  I quickly placed my order and joined her.  Sitting at the end of the bar, was a lovely, cheerful, 18yr old lady.  She was chatty, pleasant and personable.  The 30-something woman just stared at her, then grabbed her drink and walked away.

"Did I say something to offend her"? asked the girl.

"No. Don't worry about it.  I think that is just her face". I replied.

"I think I did,  She gave me a look".

"No, really.  That is just how her face is."

The 18yr old brushed it off and started chatting and another Barrista came up to me and said, "Do you live in St. Helena'?

"No, but I was at their football game Friday."

"Do you know SAGE?"

"Yes he is my friend's son".

"I knew it was you and Mr. Misha!  I could not believe you were all the way up valley and making so much noise'!

"Well, Sage is kind of worth it".

"He sure is"!

Just then I see the other Barrista making a coffee.  I turn to the chatty 18 year old through  squinted eyes and said, "Is she making your coffee before mine?  I've got to go to work"!

She replied, "NO!  NO!  THAT IS YOURS! I'M SORRY"!

I chuckled and said, "I'm just busting yer balls.  She replies, "Don't do that to me, I'm a people pleaser!"

I said, "You need to stop that.  I'm going to tell you right now something it took me decades to learn.  You cannot please all the people.  Most of the people are assholes.  When you are on you death bed, you will not think, gosh, I wish I would have pleased more people.  Be nice.  Be polite.  Do kind things.  But be nice to yourself.  Don't put your self-esteem, self-respect, self-worth in front of pleasing someone else.  You will never succeed and will be unhappy.  Don't be a dick, but don't be a people pleaser.  Now give me a terrorist fist bump'!  And she did!  And everyone in the shop yelled 'AMEN, SISTER!"

And then I went to work.  


  1. giggle.... I wish you lived nearby!! I would love giving terrorist fist bumps in public!!! swoosh and all!!