Last month, I celebrated my birthday. The night before my actual birthday, Mr. Misha had a gig. I went to the gig and my pending birthday was made known, leading to the purchase and presentation of many delicious cocktails before me. I got quite boozy. I had worked the night before, I didn't really eat a proper meal before going out and the cocktails were so yummy- I got a bit more boozy than is my usual practice.
After the gig, Mr. Misha wanted to get pizza. When we pulled up to the pizza place, I was not feeling my best. I balked at getting out of the car, but Mr. Misha insisted and I acquiesced. I ate a huge piece of pizza and sucked down a soda. I felt much better. We got back into the car and drove to the home of two of Mr. Misha's band mates. I stayed in the car, drunk tweeting/Facebooking, while Mr. Misha did whatever it was he needed to do.
The drummer of the band came up to my window and said, "Excuse me ma'am, have you been drinking this evening?" I proudly proclaimed, "Yes! It's my birthday!" He replied, "I'm going to need you to step outside of the car." I don't think he was prepared for what came next. "NO! I WILL NOT STEP OUTSIDE OF THE CAR! YOU DON'T HAVE PROBABLE CAUSE! I AM NOT IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT! THE KEYS ARE NOT IN THE IGNITION! I WILL NOT LET YOU VIOLATE MY 4TH AMENDMENT RIGHTS!" (Yes, I am that much of a dork (patriot) that I have the Bill of Rights memorized so well that I can proclaim them when I am drunk) The drummer looked confused, so I yelled "YOU CANNOT VIOLATE MY CIVIL RIGHTS JUST BECAUSE I AM BOOZY!" Just then, the lead singer of the band came up to see why I was yelling. I told her, "BILL IS TRYING TO VIOLATE MY 4TH AMENDMENT RIGHTS!" I think Bill was expecting her to calm things down, but no, instead she started citing cases backing up my argument. It was then that the drummer realized that he was in trouble. Wisely, he patted me on the shoulder and said, "Happy birthday, Mish." and walked away.
Little did I know that this event was foreshadowing how I would spend three days in February being a Rural Juror.
To be continued…