Wednesday, June 24, 2009

You can pick your friends, you can’t pick your family...

So, yesterday I shared Mark's funeral story.  I bragged about how great my co-workers were and how wonderful my friends were.  Absent from that family.  Don't get me wrong, my family is hysterical and loving too.  But they are not so helpful in a crisis.  Here are the comments made to me after Mark died:

From my Step-father (a Marine):

"Well, now that the funeral is over, you should get back to work. Be tough and strong and get back to your life."

From my Father (a Marine):

"Be strong.  You need to get back to work and on with your life. "

They must have had some sort of "what to say to your daughter when her boyfriend dies" class in the USMC Officer's Training School.
From my Mother:

"I know you are upset, but think how upset I am!  You are my daughter and seeing you so sad is very hard on me.  I wish you would understand that my pain is even worse than yours!"

and her other gem...

"Well, given your age and the fact that Mark is dead.  You are probably never going to get married and have children. You should go to midwifery school and get your Master's degree."

Someone please tell me that I am not the only one with parents like this! What completely insensitive or thoughtless things have your family ever said to you?


  1. Stephanie Ladycakes here: My MIL informed me after the wake that protocol was to wait for a year before dating again. As if getting a date was my 1st thought after losing the man I'd planned a life with. My parents weren't too bad, it was the inlaws who were my worse nightmare for years, and sometimes still are. Gotta keep em around what with the grandkids they sued me for visitation for. Also, they sued me for his funeral expenses. The expenses they insisted in front of their ritzy political friends that they would most certainly cover, despite my parents offering to pay half. Despite the fact I was 24, a stay at home mom who'd been married to a part-time student and had 2 children to feed. SIGH.

  2. Ugh. Mark's ex-wife was the big problem for me. I was at the funeral home picking out a casket and I got a call telling me she had come to our house and was going through the attic looking for her wedding album & china, so I wouldn't take it. WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD I WANT HER PHOTOS AND CHINA? She was evil, as was most of her family. His brother had married her sister, so they were all there. It was awful to have people that had been so awful to him while he was alive acting like he was their best friend at his funeral. It made things worse.