Friday, January 09, 2009

What's Up Her Ass?

This week my Nana would have celebrated her 86th birthday.  

When she was 71, she moved in with her nephew, Larry and his wife, Elsie, in Tampa, Florida. They spoiled her rotten. She literally had her own "wing" of the house, which was set right on Tampa Bay. They gave her a Jaguar to drive. She had an allowance. She had the best medical care she had ever had in her entire life. They bought her a laptop and had someone come to the house to teach her how to surf the net and use email. She was having a blast.

Larry and Elsie wouldn't let Nana do anything. They had a maid; they had a gardener, a pool guy, and a dog walker/groomer. They sent their laundry out and had their groceries delivered. Nana couldn't stand it! She finally convinced Larry and Elsie to let her do a few things around the house. She was allowed to do some "light" grocery shopping and a "little" laundry.

On day, Nana was washing her and Elsie's "delicates". She hadn't really paid much attention to them when they went into the washer but when they came out, she noticed something "funny" about some of Elsie's underwear. When Elsie came home from work, Nana asked her what kind of underwear they were.

Elsie calmly replied; "Aunt Ferne, those are thong underwear."

Nana raised her eyebrows and said; "What are thongs?"

Elsie explained the engineering of the thong panty as well as it's benefits; "They are great. You don't have a panty line when you wear slacks or skirts! You don't have to wear pantyhose and that is really nice in this Florida humidity."

Nana thought about it for a minutes and said; "Well, I guess that makes sense. I have been pulling my panties out of my ass for 70 years. Now I can just wear ones that are meant to be there and keep cool in the process!"

The next day, Elsie went to one of the posh shops in Tampa and bought Nana a few pair of designer thong underwear.

From then on, Nana wore her thong panties to Mass every Sunday.


  1. Do you think Larry & Elise would take me in as well? I won't wear thongs though.

  2. I prefer granny panties, but I suppose switching to thongs when I am a nana will be acceptable. :)
    Your Nana sounds delightful! This story cracked me up!