Twammogram, The Turd...Ahem, I Mean, The Third Times a Charm?

It's been six months, time for me to take my abnormal boobs back to the Women's Imaging Center for the third installment of "Twammogram: Live-tweeting my mammogram".  

I had to go again because my boobs are weird.  The saw the same thing on the second mammogram that they saw on the first.  Nothing new appeared, nothing grew, nothing disappeared, nothing looked cancerous.  These every 6 month check ups are basically 'cover your ass mammograms'.  My doctor's secretary is really good about caling me the minute it is time for me to do my follow up.  She makes me call her back when I have my appointment to let her know when I am going.  She is very persistant.  I made my appoinment and let her know.  Then I let Twitter know.  

When the day arrived, big news was breaking.  It looked like the President of Egypt was finally stepping down.  Great news for the citizens of Egypt, not so great as far as getting folks to pay attention to my tweets and raise awareness about annual breast cancer screenings.  But I just went with the flow and tweeted merrily along.  I have done my best to put these tweets in order.  You will notice that after the news hit that Mubarak was not stepping down, the tweets got funnier and the conversation went a little off topic.  I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I had to share it with you.  

FOR SOME REASON BLOGGER ATE THESE IMAGES.  I WILL TRY AND FIND THEM AND REPOST. 

So there you go, if your name is Tits Pervert, Tits McGee, Chesty LaRue or Busty StClair or even if it isn't- if you are over 40 (or have a family history of breast cancer) make your appointment now for your mammogram!  It's lots of fun!

Thank You Michele Bachmann (video)

Here are my tweets (and others) preceeding, and during, the Tea Party response to the State of the Union. Video of the short speech is at the end of this post. Enjoy. 

RT @Ali_Davis: OK, giving in and switching to Bachmann. Preparing for armpit noises. #SOTU

RT @gigibsohn: You know how far CNN has fallen when you wish that Michelle Bachmann would hurry up and speak.#SOTU

RT @joanwalsh: Bachmann's speech delayed while she learns about the Civil War, which side won, and that George Jefferson was NOT a founder

RT @elonjames: I'm expecting all sorts of crazy person magic from Michelle Bachmann... #SOTU

I'm pretty sure that this is going to be my favorite part of the night. Moonbat Bachmann, please don't disappoint me.#CrazyTrain #SOTU

This already has the aroma of infomercial. #CrazyTrain

RT @emokidsloveme: Oh dear, Michele Bachmann took the smokey eye and set it to raccoon. #Crazypants

CHARTS! GRAPHS! CRAZYPANTS! #ShadesofPerot

RT @KeithOlbermann: MICHELE! Hey! Yoo-hoo! CONGRESSWOMAN! We're the ones in the MIDDLE #sotu#InsaneClownResponse

RT @DustyTrice: Michele Bachmann Translation: I'm so important. Look at me. Here's a chart. Obama is Hitler. I'm using a teleprompter.

RT @txvoodoo: Oh, Michelle Bachmann - shine on, you crazy diamond.

RT @delrayser: There is clearly something shiny just to the left of the Tea Party camera. #bachmann #magpie

RT @PFTompkins: Are her eyeballs CGI? They're not quite synced up with her faceplate.

I CAN'T STOP FUCKING LAUGHING. I'M LAUGHING SO HARD THE DOGS ARE HOWLING! OMG!

RT @owillis: please have bachmann respond to every obama speech. i will donate to ensure she's on every channel.

YOU GUYS I AM LAUGHING SO HARD. I CANNOT STOP. SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE HER STOP. IT HURTS.

RT @DaveHolmes: This is like Sunday School and I'm in trouble but the kid to my left is not.

RT @emokidsloveme: She just mispronounced Iwo Jima.#Teabags #GirlStop

I think I have to rewind that to watch it again. That was so awesome. I have tears I was laughing so hard.

RT @lid86: Omg, we should always have a comedy show following the #sotu. Thank you, Michelle.

I can honestly say I didn't understand a word she said because I was laughing so hard. Just watching her sent me into fits of laughter.

RT @delrayser: No no, God bless YOU, crazy lady who just made my night.

I am writing to my congresspeople tonight to demand that Michele Bachmann respond to every speech POTUS gives from now on. #LovedIt

Michele Bachmann is a lovely gift to America.

I need a link for Michele Bachmann's speech. I want to watch it when I'm feeling sad. That shit is better than Prozac!#CrazyTrain

RT @shannynmoore: I feel like someone is sneaking up behind me after watching Bachmann. Who was she looking at and does he have a big knife?

Rep. Bachman, Thank you. I have not laughed that hard in a long time.  Your performance was awesome. Please do that every time President Obama gives a speech. 

I Twatted With A GOP "Leader"

Going to the doctor is never a fun day for me. I am usually sore afterward. Today was no different. As soon as I arrived home, I had lunch, put some ice on my neck/shoulder and popped a Flexeril and a Motrin.

While waiting for the ice and pills to kick in, I scanned all the tweets I missed while I was out of the house. One particular tweet caught my eye:


I remembered reading a few months ago about a wonderful Japanese dinner Newt had enjoyed with his wife:


So I replied:


I was quite surprised when he replied:


So there you go. Newt Gingrich twatted me.

Damp House Drama

The following are a series of tweets sent out by me over the weekend, starting Friday morning when I woke up to Mr. Misha hollering, "Oh no! There is water every where!" He then comforted me by saying over and over again, "Don't worry baby, it's not potty water! It's not potty water!"

• Woke up to major plumbing problem. 1" standing water in 2/3 of the house. Great.

• Landlord is here sucking up all of the water.

• Mr. Misha's bathroom is getting a brand new toilet.

• This plumbing drama could not have come on a worse day. Tonight is my first night back working at the baby birthin' factory.

• Shopvac-ing of the water is complete. Now for installation of new toilet. These are the most exciting tweets of the week for me. Sad.

• Landlord Dave is going to go get industrial fans to dry out the house! Time to play "Supermodel Fashion Photoshoot" with the dogs!

• Landlord Dave just announced he is here to blow me.

• Today is my cocker spaniel's version of hell. Two things she hates most in the world: getting her feet wet and the vacuum cleaner.

• Landlord and plumber have left. I think I will have to have the fans blowing all weekend to dry this place out. Glad it's warm out.

• The Pug is petitioning Gov.Schwarzenegger & Prez Obama to declare Dogtown a disaster area. Thurs it was attacked by terrier, today flood.

• I have the TV volume up full blast to hear over the fans. My neighbors are going to love me this weekend.

• I am still splashing when I walk in some parts if the carpet. I am pretty sure industrial fans are a type if torture device.

• I forgot about the linen closet and my bedroom closet yesterday when looking for wet floor. This is never going to end, is it?

• Came home after working all night. Fans not really helping. House starting to smell weird. I think new carpet is inevitable. ARGH.

• I will deal with the water logged house drama later. I am taking some pain meds and going to bed. Happy Sunday Tweeple!

• Damp House Drama, Day 4- It's starting to smell. I hear the fans even if I turn them off. Will formulate plan after the sun comes up.

I am waiting for a more suitable hour to call my landlord. I am pretty sure we are going to have to move all of our stuff out of the house, replace the carpets and the baseboards, and quite possibly paint. I am going to try and take a positve attitude towards this. Use this as an opportunity to clean out some clutter, throw away some junk, super spring cleaning and maybe a furniture rearrangement. GAH!