Why We Are Better Talking In The Abstract

When I was little and asked the question that all parents dread, "Where do babies come from?” My mom told me "A boy gives a girl a seed and it grows in her tummy into a baby." That Christmas, I refused to kiss any of my male relatives for fear that one of them would burp a baby seed into my mouth and impregnate me.

A few years later, I saw my dog, Poco, giving the neighbor's dog, Pepper, a 'piggyback ride'. A few months later, Pepper had puppies and my Mom told me it was because of the piggyback ride. So, of course, I refused to give or receive piggyback rides after that.

To avoid another litter of puppies, my mom took Poco to the vet to have him neutered. She explained to me the vet was going to 'cut his balls off' so he won't make babies anymore. She called it 'getting him fixed'. I didn't question her and she didn't offer any more information, end of discussion.

Around that same time, my mom started experiencing 'womanly problems'. She went to see her 'woman doctor' and he told her she needed to have a hysterectomy. About a week before my mom went into the hospital, my mom sat me down and said, "You know Mommy has been having womanly problems, right?" I nodded. "Well, the doctor wants to remove the parts that are giving me problems so I will feel better. But that means I won't have my period anymore and I won't be able to have babies. Do you understand?" I said, "Oh, you are getting fixed liked Poco!"

I think since the first three attempts at talking to me about the birds and the bees had not turned out they way she expected, my mom just gave up. We never talked about sex in anything other than the abstract for the next 30 years.

I Had No Idea What I Was Going To Write About

So I called my mom. She is usually good for a post or two or three. But I think she had a few too many vodka tonics in her and the conversation was slurred and was mostly about her dogs and what she bought on her latest trip to Costco.

As she rambled on and on about Splenda, meatloaf and the Jack Russel's dingleberrys, I checked my email, cruised around Facebook and took pictures of my dogs sleeping on the bed. She figured out I wasn't really paying attention, so she started asking me questions.

Mom: "I have two bags of Splenda do you want one of them?"

Me: "Sure. I'll take one of them."

Mom: "I have a bunch of coupons you might want."

Me: "Like what"

Mom:” I have one for that 'Yours and Mine' stuff."

Me: "What?"

Mom: "You know, the stuff you use if you want to get intimate. You use it-"

Me: "STOP! Just stop talking. We are done. I am not talking to you about this. I am done. Good night Mom."

And I hung up. She had never given me "the talk" when I was younger. I certainly wasn't going to have it with her when I was 40 and married.

SHEESH.

Blog For Choice 2009

For the past three years, pro-choice bloggers have come together on January 22 - the anniversary of Roe v. Wade - to write about our reproductive health and our pro-choice values in order to celebrate Roe and to keep choice in the national spotlight. This year, NARAL Pro Choice America is asking people to blog their answer to this question:




What is your top pro-choice hope for President Obama and/or the new Congress?

There is a lot to tackle after 8 years with an Anti-choice administration. It is hard to pick just one, so I have picked three. I want the repeal the “Right of Conscience” rule. I want the “Global Gag Rule” (aka Mexico City Policy) to be abolished. I want evidenced-based sex education to be taught to our teens.
Right Of Conscience Rule

Issued by George W. Bush on December 17, 2008, the ‘right of conscience’ rule is a regulation that ‘protects’ a broad range of healthcare workers - from doctors to janitors - who refuse to participate in providing services that they believe violate their personal, moral, or religious beliefs. Federal Health officials may cut off federal funding to any state or local government, hospital, clinic, health plan or doctor’s office who do not accommodate employees who exercise their “right of conscience”

It was the Bush administration’s intention to protect workers who object to abortion. The final rule was taken to the extreme (how surprising!) and affected much more than abortion providers. The rule was aimed at Doctors and Nurses, but could be construed to include anyone, even the housekeeping staff that might have to clean up after an ‘objectionable’ procedure. Workers who did not want to dispense birth control pills, Plan B pills and other forms of contraceptives are now protected under this rule. For extremists who consider most forms of contraceptives on par with abortion, this was an answer to their prayers.

Although it has not yet been tested, this rule could also ‘protect’ workers who have objections towards certain types of end of life care, providing care to unmarried couples or members of the LGBTQI community.
Global Gag Rule
This policy requires non-governmental organizations to "agree as a condition of their receipt of [U.S.] federal funds" that they will "neither perform nor actively promote abortion as a method of family planning in other nations". The policy has exceptions for abortions done in response to rape, incest, or life-threatening conditions.

This policy lead to serious loss in funding for organizations like International Planned Parenthood Federation, Family Guidance Association of Ethiopia and Planned Parenthood Association of Zambia when they refused to make changes required by the Mexico City Policy. Not only did these organizations lose much-needed funds, but also their ability to distribute birth control was hampered. It prevented their access to USAID supplied condoms and other forms of contraception. The ban promotes restrictions on Free Speech well as restrictions on accurate medical information, leading to increased number of unintended pregnancies, abortions and higher rates of STIs.

According to a 2005 press release by Population Action:

Bush's Global Gag Rule Only Making Matters Worse – New Reports, Redesigned Web Site Illustrate Effects on Women in Developing Countries April 20, 2005
Four years since the reinstatement of the Global Gag Rule by President George W. Bush on January 22, 2001, the policy continues to erode family planning and reproductive health services in developing countries, according to new case studies made available today on the Global Gag Rule Impact Project’s Web site.
Key Findings Include:
* In addition to severe financial losses, the gag rule has resulted in the loss of technical assistance and contraceptive donations to key nongovernmental organizations in Ethiopia, worsening the country’s supply shortage.
* By preventing regional partnerships, the gag rule is crippling efforts in Ghana to address reproductive health and HIV/AIDS in a coordinated and effective manner.
* Nongovernmental organizations in Tanzania are struggling to sustain current levels of service since refusing to accept the terms of the gag rule; meanwhile, demand for supplies and services are ever increasing.

Evidence-based Sex Education
Teaching kids evidenced-based sex education will not make them sexually active. Educating teens about preventing pregnancy, limiting or preventing their exposure to sexually transmitted infections and the emotional impact of sexual activity will help keep them safe if they choose to become sexually active. One only needs to peruse the newspaper to see that Abstinence-only sex ed and virginity pledges don't work.
Trends Shift, With Births on the Rise
Teen Birth Rates Up in 26 States

Many Teens Don't Keep Virginity Pledges
Schools Need Programs Proven To Delay Teen Sex And Make It Safer --- Abstinence-only Isn't One Of Them

I hope President Obama will hear the pleas of many and undo the damage done by 8 years with a President who actively worked to outlaw abortion, severely restrict access to birth control and deny our children comprehensive sex education.