Whore Underwear

When I was in elementary school, I wanted a blue satin jacket with a picture of Sean Cassidy on the back. My mom said no and told me satin jackets were worn by cheap women. As I approached the middle school years, I wanted to dress up for Halloween like naughty Sandy from the movie, Grease. My mom said no once again, saying that only trashy women wore satin pants and red shoes. When I was a teenager, my mother would never let me wear red bras or panties. She told me only WHORES wore red undergarments.

A couple of years ago, I went to New York with a friend of mine and we went to this wonderful store called Intimacy for professional bra fittings. One of the bras I ended up buying was red. When we left the store, I immediately called my mother and yelled into the phone, in the middle of Park Avenue, "I BOUGHT A WHORE BRA! IT'S RED AND I AM WEARING IT RIGHT NOW!"