Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Dress Quest 911

I need help.  I am trying to find something to wear to a semi-hipster/computer nerd wedding on September 11th.  It is going to be hot as Hades.  I need to be comfortable.  I also have ginormous boobs (which I like), T-Rex arms (which I don't like) and freakishly white legs which I refuse to put in a pair of pantyhose in fucking September. 

I hate shopping.  I hate leaving my house to go to the mall.  So, I enlisted the help of my gal pals on twitter. Despite busy lives of their own, they sent me link after link, helping me find a dress.  They knew there were concerns about 'Boob Security/Safety'.  Strapless and asymmetrical looks were cast aside in favor of 'Boob Lockdown'.  They even came up with a title for this adventure, and this blog post.  

Here are the finalists for DRESS QUEST 911:

#1) This little dress would be nice because I most definitely could wear it
again. It's a bit fancy, but if I wear it without hose and with strappy
sandals, I think it would be okay.  I have a little black shrug to
cover up my T-Rex arms.

#2) Same as above as far as accessories, but I like that this has a
splash of color.  Probably a little more casual, therefore
more wearable for me.

#3) Same accessories as above.  Love this because it is
PURPLE and longer.  Worried about the straps,
they seem skimpy.

#4) Love this!  It's purple!  It has sleeves, no need for
 the shrug.  Looks super comfortable.
Here is a shot of the back. 

#5) Love this!  It's twirlable. Looks like it'd be slimming.
No need for the shrug. Worried about my bra options.   

#6) Looks a lot like #1, but it's PURPLE. I would have to
purchase a different shrug to go with this one.  But I think it
would be slimming.  It looks twirlable.  Super feminine. 

So tell me what you guys think?  Which dress do you think I should get? Should I go for the dresses with the sleeves and forgo the shrug?  Should I throw caution to the wind and get the paisley-ish maxi dress?  How much double stick tape will I need to keep my boobs in these dresses?  Please vote in the comments and help me make this decision!